Thursday, November 16, 2006

Scary Bad Words

Is there a partner for each and everyone of us out there?Is the idea of a soulmate a reality or just a Mills&Boons creation?Are some meant to spend their lives alone?

Find myself asking myself these questions fairly often now.Think it the whole conditioning thing.If you aint married at 25 something wrong with you etc etc.Hogwash if you ask me but still turns your head inside out if you let it.

When are we over the hill?Is there some point that we cross that we cant see or fathom that assigns us the pity of the married?

Thought of marrige scares me beyond words.Stability, responsiblity, partnership, family, maturity, etc etc, are all very scary bad words in my head.Irony of it is that back in my more youthful days I was pegged as the first to be hitched one.A fair mix of bad experience's, bad stories, bad luck, manic depression and a change of philosophy have had a play in this. But is it enough to blame these things for being scared to the bone of the whole idea?

And in all fairness there are times when i wonder how it would feel to be married.The idea of getting home and spending time with someone who cares about and loves you.To spend time with somone who you want to be with and not forced to be with(boss,workmates, etc)Having a kid or two that will show you the more important things in life.

1 comment:

Saaleha Idrees Bamjee said...

I said to a friend yesterday that if i were to marry, it would not mean me buying into the construct of marriage, but rather shifting the focus onto the person I would want to marry. so if i meet said person with whom i see this future of shared experience, i'd marry them, no hesitation. this could happen tomorrow or it could happen on November 30, 2009.
(had a brief moment moment of madness last year where i sort of proposed to someone)

Being an only child, i know what an adjustment its going to be. I'm inherently selfish and selfcentric, and sharing my personal space is going to be challenging. but my strength lies in my ability to adapt to new situations.

People talk of sacrifice and compromise, being single and sans dependents, these concepts seem alien. But as with all things in life, as you move forward, as you take on new roles, what once started out foreign starts feeling a lot like home.